Finding JOY

*Disclaimer* I just read back through this post and you must prepare for the utter nonsense and ramblings of a woman who at most is mentally unstable and at least really needs to take a class on writing because all those C's in English are showing through!!)

Hi there!
Did you miss me?
I have been flat SICK for the last week. It hit me Thursday and I am just now starting to feel human again. As I lay in my bed somewhere between asleep and awake this morning I began to let my mind wander. I thought about how I am doing with focusing on my word for this year ENJOY. Do you remember? I do. I have kinda morphed the word to just JOY. When I hear Joy I think oooo Christmas but Joy should be something we find everyday. While I need to enjoy life I sometimes find it hard to FIND that joy. Someone who shall be nameless was talking to me as we lay in bed last night (oops that totally gave it away didn't it?) and he made a comment about how he hasn't had much joy in his life as of late. (He's totally going to kill me for writing about this and he knows how to dispose of a body because we watch way to much "crime shows" as my kids call them so if I go missing call the police) ANYWAY...so with the stress of a struggling business in a market that the current economy is not seeing much turn around in as well as being Young Mens President and the father to 2 rather difficult and 2 some what less difficult children AAAND the husband to a VERY difficult wife he is having a hard time finding Joy. This broke my heart to hear because I have been there. More often that I like to admit over the last say 2 and a half years. It broke my heart even more because I have been partially to blame. I have this tendency to call him when ever I am upset with some crap the kids did and what ever else may be going wrong in my day. I realized I never call him and say I'm having a great day. He has said way to many times for me to count that he just wishes he could come home from work and hear that I had a great day. It's not just that I have bad days every day but it seems as though those bad parts of my day is what I am focusing on and relaying to him.

So what now? The goals in mind are as follows:
1. Not call and complain to Terry about anything unless it's vital that he know (you know bad grade, ditching school, pink eye so on and so forth!)
2. Tell him about the good parts of my day when he gets home.
3. Do whatever I can to lighten his burdens and help him find joy.
4. Find joy myself because generally speaking when I'm happy He's happy!

So here I am spilling my guts to you all and why? For a number of reasons one being that I have kind of found it therapeutic to blab here on the ol' blog, even if know one actually reads it and just looks at the pretty pictures! I also share with you because I love hearing your feedback. You guys may not realize this but I love comments, it's like a present in my inbox everytime I see a new comment and then I feel loved! But the biggest reason I write this stuff here is because I feel if I want to change something then I have some what of a responsibility to commit greater to it than if I did it privately. I am, for all of those who know me, not a private person. I never have been, call it a character flaw or not, I like to think it makes me more lovable. I have been known to share birthing stories with the check out girl at target or giving way to much information about my shortcomings on a certain blog, it's just me, love me if you want to, or not! So sharing publicly my shortcomings with an added goal of my plan to change here on the blog makes me more responsible. You all need to hold me accountable! If you see me in the hall at church, ask me how I'm doing on my latest goal, I don't want to have to say "EWW that? UM Yeah not working so much on that," I want to be able to say, "GREAT!!"

So there you have it goals and explanations! When I sat down to write this post I was going to tell you all about how I have "enjoy"ing as well as finding joy in my life and it turned into something completely different, but better I hope because I now have something to work on that is in desperate need of being worked on! I will save telling you all about my joys for another day!
♥ you!

Oh and because you can't have a post without pictures these are some things bringing me joy as of late!

My New Shootsac!!
03.24.10  Self Portrait Tuesday on Wednesday

My Boys in ties!!
03.21.10 Fatherly Duties


Sommer said...

Good for you Kristin! You should find JOY in the ability to recognize that you should find JOY! When I was a teacher, I would have parents come to me and ask, "My little Billy drives me crazy when he... What do I do?" To which I always replied, "Stop looking for those moments he does those things that drive you crazy. And start looking for the things he does that you can praise him for!" I would have to give myself the same advise as a teacher all the time, and now as a mother and wife. You've got to stay positive, or you'll become alone, who hoards boxes of crap, and lives with 42 cats! ;)

Shootsac™ Team said...

Kristin!!! Hi :) You're looking great in your new Shootsac™ and Sprightly cover!! Whoot whoot!! :) Way to rock it out!! :) Hope you love it as much as we do and we are so happy your part of our amazing Shootsac™ family!! :) Enjoy your day and know anytime your in the area of OC you are MORE then welcome to come say hi at our new little boutique!! :)We'd love to meet you!!! :)

Katie Morgan said...

I loved this post! I feel exactly the same way. It seems like it's always hard to find joy in the simplest little things. I struggle every day with the fact that I have to work full time, and at times I feel like such a failure as a mom because I can't be with my son all day. But, as I go through my day, the thought of my son screaming my name from the back of my house, as I'm unlocking the door, and to see him coming running around the corner, to run full speed into me, brings me much joy. Thanks again for your post and helping me to take a minute for realizing what brings me joy!

Robyn said...

Hey girl, How are you doing? Long time, no see! Your family is so cute! I was so siked to see you left a comment on my blog!! Love your pictures, they are heavenly, you do a great job!! So where are you living now? Are you still in Vegas? Do you ever talk to any of the other gals from school? We should have a little reunion, it would be fun to catch up with everyone! Anyway... keep in touch! ~Robyn

Kim Marx said...

I have absolutely no room to talk because I call Ron constantly all day...but I had to laugh cause I'm wondering just exactly what difference it makes if you call about bad grades? There's nothing he can do about it, and if they're ditching, I call to say, "Hey, I'm bringing the ditcher to come work with you....usually a bad day of school beats a good day on a whacker any time. It's such a struggle these days, I totally understand what you're saying.