52|2012 - Trees

The theme for this last weeks challenge was Trees.  I spent the last 2 days up in beautiful Provo Utah, being spiritually fed and enjoyed so much of the amazing grounds at BYU, one of them being all the trees.  I had grand intentions of taking photos of the amazing trees and posting them for this weeks challenge.  However it seemed like everytime the light was right we were rushing to the next event and the right time never came.  It is a perfect example of what I have gone through personally through these last few days as well.  I have had an overwhelming sense of peace and enlightenment while I was gone with all the grand intentions of the world.  To do better and be better.  Then I came home and all my grand intentions just went right out the window.  See it's easy to have good intentions when you are not in the situation.  We are all perfect in certain situations until we are ACTUALLY in that same situation.  I struggle deeply with the woman I want to be.  I know her, I see her, I visit her every chance I get but in the end, I'm not her...not yet.  I like to think that she and i are coming closer and I am working very hard on becoming her but life and my good intentions get tossed aside when the woman I REALLY am gets in the way.  I know that change takes time and perseverance.  I will be there someday.  I just hope it's not to late for my children!  So instead of getting the gorgeous green lush trees of the BYU grounds.  You get my skimpy, not very green backlit trees of the desert.  They are me right now.  Someday I will be those lush green trees but for now, I'm just going to tend my garden, plop lots of "super thrive" down and drench them with the hose every chance I get!